It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Pre-Season Guessing Games

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Xxse3_HDTPg/SBi6HOALQTI/AAAAAAAABFs/-pGEVubR_wU/s400/OliverPerez041308.jpg
Face it: you know he's going to suck, we all do.


Which will happen first this season?
Ollie finally sent packing (released, demoted ala Trachsel, contract eaten, etc.)
Omar fired
Jerry fired
New HR apple malfunctions again
Carlos Beltran returns to the field
  
pollcode.com free polls

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Sunday, March 28, 2010

Los Angeles Mets Fans Unite!

Are you a Mets fan living in the Los Angeles area? Has your or someone you love's pride recently been injured by the baseball franchise known as the NY Mets?

If so, then you'll want to join the Greater Los Angeles New York Mets Fan Sports Bar Club as they meet for the first Sunday game of the season against the Washington Generals Nationals Natinals.  The race for 3rd place in the NL East starts early!  If you're new to southern California, there's no need to root for the Dodgers, buy a small dog, or take up an interest in soccer, the GLANYMFSBC has you covered!!

http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/natinals-washington.jpg

It's free, it's fun, and you won't have access to the temptation to throw the remote control at their hi-def televisions.

You can get all the information you need right here.

Time: April 11, 10am
Location:
1351 3rd Street Promenade
between Arizona and Santa Monica Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 656-5777

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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Get Excited About a Met: Hizzoner

Get yourself pumped for the 2010 Mets! I am!
Today's inspiration:


Until today, Mets pitcher Hisanori "Hizzoner" Takahashi had not allowed a run in eight innings of work, striking out 10 and walking nada.

And as I write this, of courses, he is throwing up a 3 inning 4 run performance against the Gnats.
Well, it looks like Hizzoner will be presiding over the bullpen snack backpack
for the time being.












Great things about this Takahashi, besides the styling nickname I came up with (sample usage: "the jury's out on this Mets ballclub, but you can't blame hizzoner today"?)

1. a good deal younger than Ken Takahashi
2. has 6 (six)! pitches.
3. related to point 2, has a man named Rod as an admirer
4. related to point 3, this Rod projects him as a number 3 starter!
5. is Japanese, and Japanese players+Mets=Fun!

He has so many damn pitches at his command, the New York Times had to make a graphic to help us grasp the enormity of this fact.
Rod Barajas, who has more money than talent, well, he still has a few signs to learn. But I got you covered, Rod!

http://pstutorialsblog.com/brushes/handbrushes.gif
(Clockwise from upper left:)
1. "Take the picture already"
2.  Eephus pitch!
3. "Wait, Jerry is signaling me to bunt--but we're not up!?"
4. "Get me the other Takahashi"
5. "Cut fastball, in the nutsack"
6.  “Ko-ko wa do-ko? Wa-ta-shi wa da-reh?” Na-ni mo wah-kah-nai.”

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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

1986'd: Doc Celebrates New 2010 Season by Going on a Fender Bender


That's poor, Doc, that's poor. 

Doc Gooden was driving his son to school after a few too many mimosas (?) Tuesday morning. Big problem? He had an "unrestrained five-year-old in the back" and rammed into his neighbor, who's a big fan by the way. 
Gooden was charged with driving under the influence of a controlled dangerous substance, endangering the welfare of a child, driving while under the influence of drugs, DWI with a child passenger, leaving the scene of a motor vehicle accident, reckless driving, failure to keep right and failure to notify change of address regarding driver's license. 
It looks like they wrote him up for everything but a balk. I'd say it was the second worst decision he's made in the recent past, after pitching for the Yankees, but it's a shame and really no laughing matter. The Mets had invited him for Spring training, but with a pregnant, expecting wife at home, Doc declined.


Lovely.

As for truly despicable ex-Mets, this story on Lenny Dykstra's latest can't really be beat.  The guy's a Philly, a irrepressible con-man and now an alleged sexual predator.

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Sunday, March 21, 2010

IMFM's Off-Season Plan 2011 Foiled Before it Even Gets Off the Ground

Dammit. Phooey.
http://chuvachienes.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/joe-mauer-004.jpg







Loyal...and lazy!



The Mets front office might not have a plan, but I did. It was to re-Piazza the Mets by throwing tons of $$ to seduce  Joe Mauer, now a Twin for life with a no-trade clause, into compromising his career and signing with the Metropolitans. Was it a brilliant plan? Maybe not, but it was going to make this season's shenanigans tolerable.  And it was still possible to dream about until today. Too bad, he would have looked great on the Mets' DL.

***
 http://espn.go.com/i/page2/photos/060613/jerry_seinfeld_125.jpg
 New Mets platoon first baseman


In other non-news, now Jerry Seinfeld and Fred Wilpon have something in common: both know catastrophic, cascading failure. While critics have described Jerry's latest television venture as "worse than AIDs," no one, to my knowledge, has been cruel enough to compare "the Marriage Ref" to the 2009 NY Mets.

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

it's never too late to try something new...

how about it Omar? Ron Washington style!!

 
This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.