It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, October 04, 2010

Wilpon Management Interview Script

 http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2009/07/25/amd_madden.jpg

Here we go. Today's the most momentous occasion in recent memory. It's Met management firing day. Or so we've been promised. We don't want to let the excitement get out of hand, but we've been waiting a long time for this.

 http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSHq1QY_csxZh-j5xSdmWPzVh_lu8V10WD7r86E2HDAzfuw1CU&t=1&usg=__YpmoONPkQHaTyBoqQZgPTaw6zfo=
Every October, the Mets and their friends gather to participate in the ritual burial of their team's season

I got my hands on the actual crib-sheet that Jeffy and Fred will take into the room once they get around to hiring a new management team for the franchise they have run into the ground.  I feel this gives us some insight into the process.

PART ONE (oral Interview):

GM:
has skill set YES NO
has plan YES NO
likes his plan YES NO
can keep it in pants YES NO
has figured out we're broke YES NO
likes the Dodgers' chances in 2011 YES NO
knows anything about how to treat concussions YES NO

Manager:
can light up room YES NO
works cheap YES NO
ex-Yankee with rings YES NO
will say what we tell him to YES NO
doesn't mind if we lie occasionally YES NO
double check: is room really lit up? YES NO

PART TWO (written test for all candidates):

Please comment on the management strategy implied by the following pictures:

http://geeksoapbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/alg_krod.jpg


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-2gf151WQ-A/TIP9TSFMkjI/AAAAAAAACHo/XO02MOugGn8/s1600/oliver+perez+mexico.jpg

http://luapula.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/large_david-wright-new-york-mets-817.jpg?w=453&h=323

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3096/3174471010_6d0f72b885.jpg

http://cdn03.cdn.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/0611-gaga-bikini-mets-00-480x720.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_TKMDKDvl7rg/TCCzjFOHbZI/AAAAAAAALp4/C_F6SnNDalA/s320/Mets+-+Carlos+Beltran+knee.jpg

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5 Comments:

  • At 3:51 AM, Anonymous cver said…

    Good to have you back with a vengeance! I'm glad your job here is secure, so we can at least have some fun after another joke of a season. And the ol' last, but not least, bring Ollie in, just to rub it in to him and to us fans - typical Mets way, sadly. It would be nice if, as Gary, Ron and Keith discussed, their could become a "Mets way" that we all could be proud of and other organizations could aspire to. Now, the BR*VES, SKANKS & PHILMES all have their postseason berths. Not good!

     
  • At 10:00 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    i feel strangely relieved last night, as if the Mets 2010 squadron was weighing on my chest like a heavy thing. No doubt, LOLlie's Last Loss was Sterling enterprise entertainment at its finest.

    We'll have more to chuckle about soon. Good to have you back Cver.

    GO REDS!!

     
  • At 4:32 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Here is what I want:

    I want Alderson
    I want Alderson NOT to hire Wally B.
    I want Beltran to go away because he does not want to be here (and I think his knee will disintegrate next year)
    I want feelers sent out on our core players.
    I want the fences moved in some.
    I want the mets to take a shot at Cliff Lee.
    I want a puppy.
    I want Hojo and Randy Niemann fired.
    I want Jeffie to be locked in a room with Werner Erhard for a weekend (if he is still alive---or better yet---if he is dead)
    I want Saul Katz to reveal himself
    I want Omir Santos release from the 40 man, along with Arias,Perez, Castillo,Green,Misch, Blanco,Hernandez, J. Feliciano, Nickeas,and abotu 10 other guys I am too tired to mention.
    I want a Wild card in our time.

     
  • At 10:26 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    here here. A wild card in our time. that's poetic. maybe they will expand the playoffs to the fourth place NL east clubs soon.

     
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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.