It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, July 26, 2010

Road Tripped: Mets Continue to Debase Game of Baseball, Dishonor Fanbase

http://brainfuel.tv/postimages/chimpanzee-glock.gif
Someone told this monkey he had to watch the Mets play baseball.

Well the Mets can't possibly lose today, giving us time to reflect on the debased brand of sucking our heroes have produced since the All Star break. This is a team that can't hit Aaron Heilman, can't hit George Sherrill, can't score in extra innings, can't beat struggling teams, can't beat good teams, and most times, can't seem to do anything but pop-up and flail at as many first pitches as possible.  They don't score runs. You just got to wonder what is going on in that clubhouse.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_i4DDjPc62mw/R1zfOx4-nHI/AAAAAAAAApk/20bnCrTdpdU/s400/Tradition_Mets_Champions_Oct_2005-488x320.jpg
Is it time to let someone else have a chance?

The Wilpons don't seem inclined to pull the trigger on their GM who, of course, decided to give his ineffectual-at-best manager a vote of confidence in the midst of one of the worst losing streaks in recent memory.  Of course, last we saw, the Wilpons extended their GM at the very moment his brain child was wetting its bed. But while the entire front office and coaching squad could stand to be replaced, you can't ultimately expect the field management to do much with such a terrible, awful, no-good team.  I think 2006 is the last time this team was not less than the sum of its parts--there is no explanation for the malaise that oozes onto the baseball field when the umpires say "play ball" and the Metropolitan's mixture of stars and scrubs take the field.  Soon, Mets baseball will be as popular in NY as a jihadist Tex-Mex restaurant (try the al-Quesadilla!).

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2009/9/16/1253095694736/Woodstock-festival-music--006.jpg
Good trip.

 http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2008/08/25/alg_mets-dugout.jpg
Bad trip.

So no sense in talking about the Dodgers series in particular or the road-trip in general.   But it's remarkable to think, particularly in the context of last year--that so much has actually gone right for these bumbling bozos.  It almost seems as they have had to make an effort at extra-uninspired suckitude. Think of it.  The starting pitching could have been much much worse: the emergence of Dickey and to some extent, Takahasi coupled with the way the maddening mediocrity of John Maine and Oliver Perez was largely contained for most of the season make me think that turned out as good as it could have. Angel Pagan has played over his head for the whole first half. Ike Davis has provided solid defense if not remarkable offense since taking over at first. As far as we know as of this minute, Beltran and Reyes are healthy enough for baseball activities, a blessing in and of itself. Parnell seems stronger this time around, and Niese has survived, even if we may have lost our Dickey last night. Hell, Omar could improve upon last season's performance just by DFAing OP and conjuring up a trade partner for Francoeur. So I wouldn't say that things have broken bad for this team, they just suck.

http://www.licensedpestcontrol.com/uploads/Image/LicensedPestControl/Photoshopped%20Images/iStock_000002657483XSmall.jpg
TURN LEFT YOU SUCKAS!

***
By the way, the Mets Xmas Curse has taken another victim. John Maine is getting surgery and will likely never be seen again in a Mets or any other jersey.

http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/mets/docs/images/mainesanta.jpg

In other news, it looks like the Mets will have to find Doc Gooden first if they want to induct him into their Hall of Fame next weekend.

***
http://theannexationofpuertorico.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/mets4.jpg
This won't be necessary this season, thanks!

Since you won't have to worry about the Mets making the playoffs this year anymore after this roadtrip, you may be interested in catching up on your reading. Sunday's Times had an interesting story on the origins of umpire hand signals.

Also, do yourself a favor and check out the mindblowing graphics of New York University Movement Lab, Complete Game Consulting, and the NY Times in a video that deconstructs Mariano Rivera's cutter.

***
It is hard to catalog or even process all the great moments in Mets malaise since the club's last world series appearance (which was pretty ignominious itself).  But since it now looks like 2010 will be another lost season, I am taking the opportunity to remember the path that brought us to this place (again). Photos are the most visceral way of reminiscing about decision-making at its finest. The Minaya regime has basically taken up right where the Phillips regime ended, featuring a similarly headscratching decision making process, only with less success (and fewer sexual harassment cases most likely). Here's a few random pictures that capture the ineptitude in an on-going photo essay.

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/129/107/3043270.jpg.16006.0_display_image.jpg

http://imagecache5.art.com/p/LRG/12/1289/4WFO000Z/kazuo-matsui--jose-reyes.jpg

 http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_RJnZXOek6bo/Rju-3oq6R4I/AAAAAAAAAKU/vch9ZO3drd4/s320/mercury+mets.JPG

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0dTmfTgfBLg5T/340x.jpg

http://begonewithwilpon.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/jeff-wilpon-jj-putz-omar-minaya.jpg

http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/18303715.jpg

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5 Comments:

  • At 8:11 AM, Anonymous =( Met fan =( said…

    What a disaster. I just don't have the strength anymore. This whole organization is just one big circus...

     
  • At 2:18 PM, Anonymous Kate said…

    Gee thanks for the links, I believe I WILL catch up on some reading!

     
  • At 10:58 AM, Anonymous cver said…

    This just in: The Mets did make a big deal before the deadline - They bought the Brooklyn Bridge!

     
  • At 11:19 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    IMFM, remember when we used to talk about Agent GL*VINE? What about Agent WADE, the Phil..er..Astros GM, who used to be the GM for the Philmes and traded Oswalt to his protoge┬┤Ruben Amaro for a bag of balls and paid him to do so. I feel a conspiracy theory coming on.

     
  • At 11:31 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    ah those were the days! The MEts can sleep easy knowing that all arms will end up in Phillie. And the Yanks just literally acquired all the bats on the market. But the Mets can't worry about that kind of thing (the future) when they're trying to solve the Snakes. Good times!

     

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.