Top Ten Unqualified Sucesses of the Mets' 2009 Season
Mets beloved owner Fred Wilpon ponders his next move.
Are you discouraged by your team's abject, dismal failure on almost every operational front, compounded by the mind-bending decision by the owners to make no management changes going forward? Take a look at the bright side! Here are the top ten Met accomplishments we can be proud of:
10. Mets medical staff continues to protect players from Mud Wrestlers Rash, Mary Hart Epilepsy, and feline diabetes.
9. Mets able to spoil Florida Marlins' shot at club attendance record (a visit from the Mets depressed attendance numbers just enough so Marlins couldn't break 13,000 for the year)
8. Mets planning to add to ridiculous Citi outfield wall design with baseball's first in-park MRI machine housed in unmoving centerfield HR apple
7. Fernando Tatis can now add sun porch to his church in the Dominican Republic.
6. Delta Airlines, in honor of their affiliation with the Mets, now charging for each working hamstring as well as first and second checked bags
5. Pat Misch gets enough starts to cement his status as 2010 Mets #2 starter
4. Cody Ross sidelined by a wrist injury courtesy of a pitch from Mets' John Maine (along with Ross' habit of "rodeo-style" masturbation)
3. Fred Wilpon's team wins the NL West for the second year in a row
2. Due to drop in SNY viewership, visits to Jeter's Ford Challenge.com drop precipitously
1. Josh Thole is still alive and walking without help.