Pagan is an Angel for Metsfans

Another ritual that looks like fun

After Bobby Parnell helped the D-Bags parlay Mets pitching ineptitude into a tie game, things did not look good for the Mets, who are usually exhausted just trying to survive an Oliver Perez start much less beat the other team. Then, before you could say "Cody Ross is an ignorant, baby-headed rodeo clown," Angel Pagan flipped a pitched baseball casually into the crowd for a grand slam in the 8th inning. And the best scrubs that $140 million can buy somehow won again.

To say that Oliver Perez is a terrible, no-good pitcher is adding nothing new. But it's like marveling at a sunset or cooing at a baby; if you're human, you can't help it.

"I think I made important outs," says Ollie. Again with this shit. Come up with some new lines, Borra$, and feed them to your dipshit client, who will one day get run out of Citi in the manner that Victor Zambrano once let himself out of Shea. Perhaps you can find some in that book you wrote.

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It seems that, despite expectations to the contrary, Adam Rubin is unbowed, still calling his blog "Surfing" the Mets. Imagine the gall of this guy. Why not "You've Got Mets" in the true AOL fashion Adam? The only lingering effects of the Bernazard (whose new asshole can safely continue to be ripped by the Daily News without interruption) controversy is that Billy "Goat" Wagner won't get to spend quality time with Tony the Tiger now. That, I'd like to see.

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Perhaps Jeff Francoeur is really fitting in among the Flushing fellas. I wouldn't deny a guy his reputation for making lots of new best friends. But the media is perhaps straining itself a bit to make the French connection. For instance, the Daily News in an article about the renewed spirit Frenchy has brought to the clubhouse atmosphere, sees this as "the best sign of how light the atmosphere has become":

Before Friday's game, Mike Pelfrey and about a dozen teammates tried flying one of the helicopters in winds so strong that ripples were being sent across the infield tarp. The chopper barely got off the ground before crashing and breaking, much to the chagrin of Pelfrey, who kept trying to fix the toy back inside.

Fed up with Pelfrey's obsessive tinkering, David Wright and J.J. Putz walked over to his locker and stomped on the chopper, all smiles and offering to buy him a new one

Speechless, Pelfrey could only watch as Putz then picked up the busted chopper and flipped it to Wright, who smashed it with a bat. The clubhouse erupted into laughter, which got even louder when Pelfrey finally gathered himself and said, "I just ordered a part to fix it."

This seems less like levity and more like petty cruelty. Further, I fail to make the connection with Francoeur is said to have brought the team when he was traded from the incest capital of the world to New York. Bashing a child's toy with a bat may be big fun in Atlanta, so that could be the connection, but otherwise I don't see it.