It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Mets Human Resources Dept. to Launch Investigation into Mets Winning



















If you thought the Mets play was ugly, wait til you see the clothes they designed!

We won't know the results of this investigation for a while, or hear Omar Minaya deliver them to the public, or hear Omar and upper management apologize for this delivery, but the investigation is being investigated.

Winning doesn't cure everything, folks.

A lot of people, the SNY booth included, have attempted to resolve the weeks' catastrophe by making the statement that "winning cures everything," as though a lot of this behind closed doors bullshit would only be a minor distraction if only the club were winning. Well, winning doesn't always cure anything. Take right now for instance. The Mets have won 4 games in a row vs. ostensibly better teams, and yet they are still more than 10 games out of first in the NL East and 5 games out of the so-called "wildcard." No amount of short term success could disabuse Mets fans of the sickening notion that the team they love is a hopeless joke, run by tone deaf morons, and trapped in a system of deleterious nepotism that leaves all paths to progress barred indefinitely.

Rather than work the trade deadline or try to figure out why his entire team happens to be injured, or just release a blanket apology for all his lack of a plan has done to this team, Minaya decided to spend the week living down his pointless, rambling discourse on a franchise cancer who probably should have been 86'd a long time ago and a beat reporter for the team, who decided, access be damned, to write a story that embarrassed the management of the club he apparently once considered joining. Winning doesn't cure that.

Mets COO (Clueless On Organization?) Jeff Wilpon needs to get the hell out of the decision making chain. If and when Omar finally falls on his illiterate sword, Jeffy needs to get dad to hire a strong, articulate man or woman to run this team based on strategic planning and competent scouting. Jeff himself can dedicate his time to figuring out why the field he is responsible for does everything but shoot heat seeking apples out of a top hat canon to prevent face-of-the-franchise David Wright from hitting homeruns.

Perhaps it isn't Jeff Wilpon we should blame, but the insidious, all powerful "human resources" department that Omar mentioned repeatedly the other day. Who is this shadow organization and are they the one's actually running things for Sterling Inc? Was Omar just trying to signal the outside world to send help? This team's executives could be at the mercy of HR, and we'll never know.

The team's injured players? Don't worry about them--they still have time to design hideous clothing for that treasured demographic of people who have no taste and still care about the Mets--but don't count on seeing most of them in 2010 either. Carlos Beltran's bone bruise is somehow no better--yet he is pushing to get back on the field (yay!). Maine is going for another opinion. And I don't know why anyone talks about JJ Putz, designer of the patriotic duck hunting jersey shown above, in the context of the Mets.

Meanwhile, the scrubs playing for the Mets now are having a nice run of luck, getting the breaks and bounces, and giving us something to do while we wait for 2010.

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6 Comments:

  • At 9:47 AM, Blogger Jaap said…

    I'm growing concerned that with all these disabled Mets joining the fashion design industry Alyssa Milano might soon be out of work...incidentally, I heard through the grapevine that Reyes was working on a Mets garter belt made from human hamstrings...

     
  • At 9:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    wow you have alot of pent up agner issues eh? so called "wild card"???what is wrong with you? the wild card is real and several past winners have gone on to win the WS. The team is playing an exciting brand of baseball and there is life again. Who cares if Omar can't speak a sentence or doesn't like adam rubin. The issue is always the play on the field. period.

     
  • At 12:12 PM, Anonymous Keyser said…

    Congrats Mr. Forme! The great Anonymous has decided do descend from his pedestal to comment on your post. You have indeed made the big leagues of blogging.

     
  • At 7:21 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    people get agnry when they think the wild card is under attack.

     
  • At 9:15 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Just heard some of Omar's most recent non-apology. the writers pressed him SLIGHTLY on whether he was retracting what he said about Rubin's motives and Omar just kept saying I told him I was sorry. I felt a few more pressing questions and we might have had another Omar episode. It wa self-serving nonsense and he should not have been let by New York writers. Ever the bumbling idiot. Maybe this was his last presser. Unfortunately i do not really believe it was.

     
  • At 8:16 AM, Blogger metsfanincincy said…

    Pent up anger issues?! LOL! Anon must not read this much. IMFM definitely doesn't have anything "pent up".

     

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.