June Swoon Continues: Birds Kill Mets Twice with Same Stone or something
Just lay down a bunt, Runt
Go in with no plan, Stan
You don't need two hands, man
Just get yourself a loss
Walk the ballpark, Mark
Balk in the run, Hon'
You don't need to score runs much
Just wave the white flag, Tad
and get yourself another loss
Just miss the third sack, Mack
pinch hit a bum, Tom
You don't need a backstop, Pop
just wait til next year
Trade for a Putz, Toots
Don't add an offseason offensive piece, Reese
and lose the NL East
Thank god Paul Simon isn't alive to see this one.
The Mets are the Vasco da Gama of losing. Just when you think the earth is flat, these chumps discover entire new continents of failure. Alright, I'm not certain I remember what de Gama discovered, but his name sounds cool. The point is, now that their two pitching stars have shit the bed, nothing is impossible for these Mets. Not flubbing pop ups or easy flies, not pulling shitty pitching out of nowhere, not even missing third base! Watch them for any amount of time and you'll understand next year's motto (wait for it): The New York Mets: You Won't Believe Your Eyes!
Ok, I'm out of bad analogies, and I am jazzing up a relativity pedestrian tough loss here, but Frank the Closer has become Frank the Blower. Rodriguez earned every inch of his first, non-Castillo aided blown save, and he got the 'L' to boot. And no, Jerry couldn't have pulled K-Rod when it was clear he didn't have any command because...because. Now that everyone on the team has let us down for at least a game, we can relax a little.
Otherwise, nothing to be upbeat about, seeing as this series was for the Birds. The O's walked off all over the Mets. At least Aubrey Huff's agent won't have to send an audition tape over before Omar sends the Mets few remaining prospects to Baltimore for the guy.
Read this and you might come away thinking the Mets could do worse than throw a lot of money at Jason Bay this off-season. Hell, if the Rays don't pick up Scott K*zmir's option in 2012, let's get the whole band back together!!