It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Reed All About It!

http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/74/14/FloRida-1.0.0.0x0.466x302.jpeg
What, was Great White otherwise occupied? They've got more jail time than this poseur.
One reviewer on Flo Rida: " I would eat a bowl of nails then to listen to flo rida."



Jeremy Reed became a true Met, for what that's worth, by getting a big hit against the evil and stinky Fish. That's the last good thing that happened last night to the Flushing .500s as the Fish enjoyed a "Flop Off win." The Mets executed a "Slump-Off Loss," stranding between 40-78 men on base (ok only 27), and getting situationness out of only Reed, Beltran, and Tatis, who I swear to god hit a grand slam homer last night, which Jeffrey Loria secretly shot down with laser beams purchased no doubt, with funds embezzled from the Dade County general fund. Meanwhile, Church, Murph are hitting and even Wright, who looks lost, and Delgado are not struggling. The bottom of the order are the same automatic outs we had planted there last year, so we can expect similar offensive results I suppose until something changes. I see nothing that makes me think O'Day should be on this team, he doesn't even have the stuff that Joe Smith had for crying out loud. Omar seems to want to have "the side-armer," "the geriatric," "the Hernandez brother", these types, on every club.

http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/gay_clowns.jpg
The Mets are obviously going to have a tough season against Cody Ross (left) and Dan Uggla and the Marlins.

The game left me with lots of questions. First, if Emilio Bonifacio can wreck havoc with his speed, why can't Jose Reyes? Oh right, he's a big star and big stars don't bunt. Second, why can't the Mets get up to play the Marlins? The Fish have ruined more than one season for the Mets and yet they play like its the end of days and the Mets just can't get it done. Not that I'm saying the Mets folded last night, but jeez I mean really. Don't they want to send a sign that they aren't going to take it anymore? Third, Jerry, is it really necessary to pitch to Hanly Ramirez, every time? Maybe you want to give your young/new guys in the pen some confidence, but the rest of us want to win some games. So how about leveraging some of that prime closer stuff when it fucking counts, since you have two of them. Roles, you say? Well Putz will most likely walk the first chance he gets, so I'd say why keep him too happy? Fourth, as Omar said, the team doesn't really need a Manny Ramirez type to drive in runners from their comfy place on the bases. No siree, we'll just go with the guys we got.

Without "the Hammer" or "Jake" (the Mets traitor) to verbally rim job all night, the Broadcast Booth with the Smallest Metaphorical Penises in the MLB, I think their names are Rich Waltz and Tommy Hutton, had a harder time annoying me. I bet the players hate them and the way they pretend they're overly familiar with the nicknames and all. During the broadcast, one of them pretended that Keith Hernandez made small talk with them. I'm sure Keith wouldn't have done that.

Tonight, you'll miss an hour of the game thanks to two of the shittiest institutions in America: Fux Network and the state of Florida. Well, it's not really Florida's fault, but if the state didn't exist, the rapper would have to call himself something else like Roo DyeLand, and perhaps he wouldn't have got the gig.

http://www.bejata.com/archives/images/Lenny%20and%20Dontrelle.jpg
Members of the Marlins celebrate their victory over the Mets last night.

As for the Marlins, I think I'll let this young Flo Rida critic speak for me:

"NIZZZAWWWW that ***** is trash//he makes club music for the suburbs//his lyrics are fckin trash//he has fckin a VEGETA Hairline//he couldnt even prolli hang with chingy in a battle."

Yeah!

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5 Comments:

  • At 8:32 AM, Blogger katherine said…

    Oh God, I hate to lose to the Marlins. But it wasn't a totally disastrous game, like the the kind where we score 1 or 0 runs against bad pitchers. We at least had one good rally and went into extra innings!

    And give poor Darren O Day a break. Jerry put the ball in the poor kid's hand two nights ago, ONE HOUR after Darren learned about his friend being killed. What was Jerry thinking?

     
  • At 8:33 AM, Blogger katherine said…

    And another thing - this is the kind of close, depressing game that the Mets oftentimes follow with a blowout. So maybe tonight will be really great.

     
  • At 12:23 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    your optimism sustains me! and yur right about the sort of blow out!

     
  • At 12:26 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Our #5 starter and resident killer whale won the only game of a series against a defensively inept team with a bullpen that can only be described scatologically. Reasons for optimism? I say, you need your temperature taken, young man. You might be delirious with fever. That sometimes passes for optimism.

     
  • At 12:30 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Let's see if this team can mop the floor with the pathetic Pods. I happen to think they will lose one (at least--I hope no more) Let's see if they can get a run going at home against the Little Sisters of the Poor. I happen to believe that this bunch of flatliners cannot ride the wave, that they always settle back and mail one in when winning should be just business as usual.

     

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