Avenger of Blood Author Gives Mets a Lift with Non-Literary Ineptitude
Miguel Batista's start last night tanked worse than his last novel.
A couple years back, some Mariners fans apparently took issue with their club's signing of Major League Baseball's only active novelist, a man who could twirl fastballs and snappy dialogue at will:
"I think you're right: this has got to be only the second time when the entire state has become so intently focused on one trial. Many people who came here today are carrying posters and signs demanding justice and that Thomas Santiago receive the death penalty," Molly observed."
Less charitable suspicions were confirmed when Batista dropped this quote after a meeting with Kenny G:
"He played for me," Batista said. "It was my favorite song, 'Alone.' Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
I'm not one to kick a guy when he's down, but this stuff is irresistable. If the title of Batista's new thriller, Avenger of Blood: A Plot Where Real Facts and Evidences Face Faith, is a bit clumsy, you can bet that Mets fans are in a forgiving mood. Just a night after being humiliated by Dickeyball, the Mets faced a man, “Dominican by birth, pitcher by profession, poet by vocation” who is actually a better writer than pitcher. Let's just say it made Carlos Delgado's 45th birthday extra special. Alas, the Mets can't expect to face a pitcher/writer hack every night. Nor can they count on Adrian Beltre's defensive splendor and well-timed throw aways to keep them batting though any more innings. But at least they took one game out of three from the worst team in baseball, a team with nothing to play for.
During a mildly entertaining SNY broadcast, Keith and Gary reiterated their stance against fan voting for the All-Star team --Keith "I played in 5 all-star games and I probably should have played in 9" Hernandez probably has a point, but did the Mets organization have to take their arguments to the extreme and come out so strongly against fan interest in baseball altogether?
Lucky I don't have heart trouble since John Maine took the opportunity in the 5th to go from cruising through a no-hit laugher to stumbling through a everybody hit nail biter by giving up something like 400 consecutive hits. Ichiro nearly made it a 8-5 lead (thus potentially leading to the re-explosion of my head) when he hooked a change up just foul and had to settle for a sac fly. But the Mariners being the Mariners, Maine got out of it with a pop up and an 8-2 lead. Still with an 8 run cushion, Maine failed to go 7 as required by the Gangsta. Which of course, makes me cranky.
Time again to play our continuing "Get to know your Mets Coaches"
Dan Warthen is:
A. Best-selling author of The Da Vinci Code
B. Running for the Texas House of Representatives
C. a former 12-21 big league pitcher for four seasons, now the Mets new pitching coach
D. your next door neighbor's kid who you caught ogling your daughter through a telescope
Dan Warthan--or is it Joe Maddon?--shops for rice.
Seriously, I know more about the Angel Rays manager Joe Maddon than I do about this guy. Feel free to send in your fun facts.
Labels: Mets almost named the Skyliners