It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Death, Taxes, and Aaron Heilman Sucks

Aaron Heilman, in happier times, poses with some people he could get out if his life depended on it.

Thank god for life's little certainties. There is no need to discuss last night's game much. Yeh yeh, the Mets bullpen and offense blew an opportunity to keep the Phillies in their place and stomp on the Marlin's neck. Nothing to see here.
Everyone knows that Dan Uggla and Cody Ross are little bitches but there's nothing new there.
The question we do need to consider is this: When is enough enough? How much Aaron Heilman do the Mets think we can take? It doesn't matter if Jerry has nowhere to turn, Aaron Heilman has been dooming the Mets chances for years. Why are Omar and Jerry not answering these questions on a daily basis? Is it because the newspaper business is a dying industry and the remaining reporters are looking to jump ship and/or spend all their time criticizing "bloggers"? What kind of management would continue to trot out this sad sack, key spot after key spot, important game after important game, year after year? The only analogy I can think of for this mind boggling circumstance is how Americans continue to vote for George W. Bush. After years of expecting Heilman to get traded waived killed only to see him up there failing one more time, it's that ponderous. Bush-level ponderous.

Handed the ball in any important or emotional situation, Aaron Heilman is guaranteed to fail. But, to be fair, Aaron does all kinds of failure:
Failure to live up to expectations when he was drafted.
Failure to develop an adequate arsenal of pitches to become a starter.
Little failure.
High profile failure.
Failure against the Cardinals.
Failure under guru-type pitching coach.
Failure under do nothing pitching coach.
Big time failure.
Failure on a plane.
Failure on a train.
Failure to merit a parking spot in spring training.
Failure not to bitch when he didn't have a parking spot.
Failure not to give ball parking spot in bullpen.
Give up the big bomb failure (personal fave).
and now...

Walk-off walk failure.

Aaron Heilman means:
Surrender
Capitulation
Disaster
Stubborn reliance on failed policies of the past.

There's an easy solution to this problem. Make Aaron Heilman an ex-Met as soon as possible.

That is all.

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2 Comments:

  • At 4:03 AM, Blogger Jaap said…

    but you forgot:

    failure as a pitcher and
    failure to bean the batter thus HBP the winning run home. much better than waking the winning run home and surely after that third ball we all knew where this was going anyway. Hell, I suppose after the first intentional walk we all knew where this was going anyway.

    how about failure to win his MLB debut in 2003?

    you might also want to note that on his wikipedia entry it says (no kidding)

    "heilman is a piece of shit

    heilman sucks...fuckin asshole"

    clearly the site doesn't need much updating...

     
  • At 4:51 AM, Blogger Wax Heaven said…

    Nice walk, guys. Hope we can spoil a lot more for you later in September.

     

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