Mets Survive Off-day Without Loss: Dispatches from the Road
I just can't believe this team. I saw them in person in LA earlier and was astounded at their suckiness, but I still didn't believe it.
So I flew here to the East coast and drove down to NYC to investigate this sad sack club in person. Had the unique experience of listening to Billy Wagner blow a save while navigating I-95 South; the Mets find new ways to lose and I, for one, am always on the lookout for new ways to listen/watch them find these new ways to lose. But frankly, if there are new ways to lose that the Mets haven't discovered this season, I'd be shocked.
Losing by walkoff hit batsman.
Losing by 2-1.
Losing while Ramon "SleepyHEAD"* Castro continues to collect a paycheck.*
Losing without Pedro.
Losing with Pedro.
Lose. Losie. Losers. Losing.
They have lost in a train. They have lost in a plane. They have lost in pain. They have lost in the rain. They have lost in vain. They have lost six ways to Sunday. I have not seen them lose in a submarine, but if a fella came up to me and told me that it was so, I'd have to take his word for it.
And in that car on Sunday, I could sense it coming. To be sure, Billy Wagner had yet to be exposed this season. But asked to do something out of the ordinary, record a 4 out save, Billy failed in the grandest of ways. He didn't just blow a save to the Padres, nor did he just blow a must-win game out his ass, nor did he just blow a save by giving up a homerun, he blew a save to the Padres in a must-win game by giving up a homerun to TONY FUCKING CLARK. It is possible to put that in one's hat, but it is not possible to smoke that. Billy's face seems destined to end up next to John Franco and Armando Benitez on the Mets Mt. Rushmore of Unsure Closers.
This team is making life hard for novelty sports bloggers. They are not funny. And tomorrow night, as I gather with the other fools who believed in these gutless wonders long enough to invest in tickets for their performance, suck in the near fatal humidity and suffer the record temperatures that will greet me at Shea, I will be surely not be laughing.
*Castro's new nickname
**tWO YEAR $4.6 million contract that is.
So I flew here to the East coast and drove down to NYC to investigate this sad sack club in person. Had the unique experience of listening to Billy Wagner blow a save while navigating I-95 South; the Mets find new ways to lose and I, for one, am always on the lookout for new ways to listen/watch them find these new ways to lose. But frankly, if there are new ways to lose that the Mets haven't discovered this season, I'd be shocked.
Losing by walkoff hit batsman.
Losing by 2-1.
Losing while Ramon "SleepyHEAD"* Castro continues to collect a paycheck.*
Losing without Pedro.
Losing with Pedro.
Lose. Losie. Losers. Losing.
They have lost in a train. They have lost in a plane. They have lost in pain. They have lost in the rain. They have lost in vain. They have lost six ways to Sunday. I have not seen them lose in a submarine, but if a fella came up to me and told me that it was so, I'd have to take his word for it.
And in that car on Sunday, I could sense it coming. To be sure, Billy Wagner had yet to be exposed this season. But asked to do something out of the ordinary, record a 4 out save, Billy failed in the grandest of ways. He didn't just blow a save to the Padres, nor did he just blow a must-win game out his ass, nor did he just blow a save by giving up a homerun, he blew a save to the Padres in a must-win game by giving up a homerun to TONY FUCKING CLARK. It is possible to put that in one's hat, but it is not possible to smoke that. Billy's face seems destined to end up next to John Franco and Armando Benitez on the Mets Mt. Rushmore of Unsure Closers.
This team is making life hard for novelty sports bloggers. They are not funny. And tomorrow night, as I gather with the other fools who believed in these gutless wonders long enough to invest in tickets for their performance, suck in the near fatal humidity and suffer the record temperatures that will greet me at Shea, I will be surely not be laughing.
*Castro's new nickname
**tWO YEAR $4.6 million contract that is.
posted by I.M. Forme @ 7:21 PM
5 Comments:
At 9:37 AM,
Jaap said…
well at least your going to be there in person so you can make sure your voice is heard every time Delgado trots back to the dugout at the end of the inning. Even whilst they suck, I wouldn't mind a chance to see the Mets once more in Shea.
At 6:44 PM,
Anonymous said…
My man IMFM, not only is there having just seen the D-Backs tie the game up, he is currently suffering through a rain delay for heaven-know's-what. This is the "must-win". I need this guy to get a nice Shea sendoff. Sunday's game was just lame - I don't think of it as much as a must-win or a must-not-lose, but more of a more-of-the-same. I wonder what timezone Castro thinks he's in now. I still am trying to like the guy, because I always have as a player, at least (Didn't he have that "suspicion of rape" thing over him - hmm). I'm pretty sick of the Mets right now, but as a true Met fan, I'm a gluton for punishment.
At 10:17 PM,
I.M. Forme said…
well fellas, god tried to stop this game from continuing once the dbags tied it up, but even god can't save this team. Don't know if you could tell from tv broadcast, but wind, dust and finally downpour rained down on Shea, and I thought the frogs and locusts were next. It was eerie.
I shall do a full report with alarming pictures as soon as i can get a reliable connection.
It was not pretty.
At 12:10 PM,
Jaap said…
what you can't sit in Union square and get a good connection? I thought all of manhattan was wi-fi by now...
how's that new stadium shaping up anyway, is it near completion?
At 8:03 PM,
I.M. Forme said…
You're right. I'm just lazy.
Xhitty park (home of the 2009 shmets) is looking pretty sweet, mostly done. I'll post some pics.
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