Mets Survive Off-day Without Loss: Dispatches from the Road
So I flew here to the East coast and drove down to NYC to investigate this sad sack club in person. Had the unique experience of listening to Billy Wagner blow a save while navigating I-95 South; the Mets find new ways to lose and I, for one, am always on the lookout for new ways to listen/watch them find these new ways to lose. But frankly, if there are new ways to lose that the Mets haven't discovered this season, I'd be shocked.
Losing by walkoff hit batsman.
Losing by 2-1.
Losing while Ramon "SleepyHEAD"* Castro continues to collect a paycheck.*
Losing without Pedro.
Losing with Pedro.
Lose. Losie. Losers. Losing.
They have lost in a train. They have lost in a plane. They have lost in pain. They have lost in the rain. They have lost in vain. They have lost six ways to Sunday. I have not seen them lose in a submarine, but if a fella came up to me and told me that it was so, I'd have to take his word for it.
And in that car on Sunday, I could sense it coming. To be sure, Billy Wagner had yet to be exposed this season. But asked to do something out of the ordinary, record a 4 out save, Billy failed in the grandest of ways. He didn't just blow a save to the Padres, nor did he just blow a must-win game out his ass, nor did he just blow a save by giving up a homerun, he blew a save to the Padres in a must-win game by giving up a homerun to TONY FUCKING CLARK. It is possible to put that in one's hat, but it is not possible to smoke that. Billy's face seems destined to end up next to John Franco and Armando Benitez on the Mets Mt. Rushmore of Unsure Closers.
This team is making life hard for novelty sports bloggers. They are not funny. And tomorrow night, as I gather with the other fools who believed in these gutless wonders long enough to invest in tickets for their performance, suck in the near fatal humidity and suffer the record temperatures that will greet me at Shea, I will be surely not be laughing.
*Castro's new nickname
**tWO YEAR $4.6 million contract that is.