Take this Rocky!
It's time to rewrite Rocky IV, and keep it real this time. Rocky was an aged and ridiculous chump, and he wasn't even a good boxer. The Mets need to do an Apollo Creed on the Phillies, perhaps avenging the evils perpetrated by Lando Calrisian.
And while the existence of a whole internet encyclopedia page devoted to Ivan Drago saddens me, this is no time to worry about western civilization.
"Dear Phillies, You will lose."