It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, April 14, 2008

Mets Doubled Up in Pain in De-Mota-vating Series Loss to Sudsie Sluggers


Is the Mets cup half empty or half full?

This weekend, the Mets were thoroughly bested by the Milwaukee Brewers, a team that runs sausage races before games and occasionally supplies ballpark rectal exams. If only the Kaz Matsui case was caught in time, but I digress. Not even Guilerma Mota could save the Mets today.


Allow me to paint you a word picture. It's Sunday. Taxes are due, but you can't understand a goddamned word about how to deduct for your IRA if your wife is covered by a retirement plan. You'd like nothing better that to punch a passing accountant if the chance presents itself. The world is going to hell. The Mets have squandered a lead of 6-2 after $cot Bora$ client and future pain in the ass OP has said lead pounded out of him by the Beer Bellies. By now its clear to Mets fans that today we got Ollie's Folly not Oliver's Army. Enter former Met Guillermo Mota, and as always, enter hope for whomever opposes him. It's the eighth and Mota struggles with the responsibilities of a 9-7 Brewers lead, tossing up and away balls with stubborn insistence, as only a de-juiced Mota can. Then, with runners at second and third with nobody out, Luis Castillo hits a grounder to Prince Fielder. I'm not sure where Brady Clark was running when Fielder stopped munching on his feed bag long enough to step on first base and throw home in time to double up Clark, but if Brady was running in the general direction of the minors, perhaps he should continue to follow his instincts until he is in his rightful AAA place. Stunned with this turn of events, Mota persevered and continued to walk Mets, trying to give his old buddies a chance back into the game. But noble Carlos Delgado would have none of that, and proceeded to pop up ball three, something they tell you never to do with the bases loaded. Mota pumped his fist, clearly dejected.

Other than that, the Mets were clearly not good enough on this day to best Jeff "What's for" Suppan, Brian "Sburnin' Sdown the" Shouse" or the "Roid Crew" of Mota and Gagne. Nor could they contain the mighty offensive styings of such players as Corey"I wear my sunglasses at night" Hart, or Gabe "I believe you have my "Kapler. The Brewers may very well be for real. A side note: the clubhouse barber has his hands full with Eric Gagne and Derrick "Squeal Like a Pig" Turnbow in the same bullpen. I mean, take a shower fellas!


Also, the magic 8 ball is not a recognized method for deciding close calls at first, Ed Montague.

This game was so dispiriting that I can't even process news of Mr Not-Devastated straining his hammy, or T.J Simers' reports that Andruw "Tubbo" Jwuones is indeed a chubby waste of space.


Time for a grueling off-day, and then hopefully a better showing against the highly motivated Nationals, led by Ct. Red Ass and the Thrilledge.


things are bad at Shea now, but at least fans don't have to put up with disembodied heads floating around.

Labels: ,

5 Comments:

  • At 4:54 AM, Anonymous cver said…

    Some of my favorite disembodied heads though, man. Those were the days. There are two words that are haunting me now and they came from Delgado's lips when asked by reporters whether he was "disappointed, disgusted or angry?" - ABOUT WHAT?

    Bench him!

     
  • At 9:29 AM, Anonymous YB said…

    Willie only benches Reyes.

    This team is quickly going to a place that I thought only Isaiah took teams, the land of unwatchable and irrelevant.

    I think you can take one thing out of this small sample. This team was totally overrated. Duaner as savior? Oy.

     
  • At 9:51 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    oh my Cver, I didn't see that quote. And thankfully. In his defense, perhaps he is just saying that it's too early to get bent out of shape.

    YB lets see how they perform against the Gnats before we throw that first shovel of dirt. As for them being overrated, the various mets boards are floating the idea that the rest of the league is just as bad, particularly the nl east. As if that made me feel any better.

    The recent malaise has made it harder for me to enjoy buying tickets, arranging airfare, lodging etc, to see these guys. I'm telling anyone that will listen that I plan to see the team at Dodgers Stadium, Shea, Houston, and perhaps Anaheim, Philly, and San Diego.

     
  • At 10:16 AM, Blogger Jaap said…

    Well, if you do happen to catch some games, don't expect Scotty Shitface to buy you dinner in between surrendering lead-blowing grand slams every other outing because he has stated quite clearly he's not up for it...

     
  • At 5:54 PM, Blogger Me said…

    I love it! Go disembodied Met heads!

     

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

 
This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.