It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Forecast: Blogospheric Pollution

For those of you who are wondering, hey how come the internationally recognized blogger/genius behind IMFM hasn't posted lately: How many times do I have to explain to you people, I'm decreasing my carbon footprint by NOT WRITING MUCH OF ANYTHING. My writing was killing the environment. And this blog strives to be as green as the day is long, mostly because I can't afford to drive the environment clean like everybody else.

Maybe I'm suffering from blogger self-loathing.

Or maybe I'm just down about the ecomony.

http://a774.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/52/s_511db3877b379df1087eb0eda2608845.gif

In recent years, I've come to be of the opinion that the MLB Spring hasn't started until I've forked over my viewing ransom to BIG CABLE for the so-called Extra Innings package. And I haven't yet. And since I plan to waste the majority of my extra time on this team come April, I'm savin' bullets. I am not, as you may have suspected, busy spewing hilarity out of my golden blowhole as writer-actor on a highly regarded network comedy show. I am barely qualified to watch the Office, as I have trouble keeping up with its scheduling.

But be that as it may, I still have a few observations, on this, a day that our old nemesis St. Louis Whitepeople's RedBirds mopped up the Florida grass with our new stud pitcher. Turns out, the only entity with more of an interest in over-hyping the Metsies than the average Metsfan is the MLB. I mean if it doesn't make you a bit uncomfortable to see the Mets listed among the top five lists of which teams have the best defense, teams have the best rotations, the best everyday lineups, best green-estness, and the best BBQ sauce recipes, then you ain't been a Metsfan too long. Anticipation is a dirty word around here since Generation K at least.

[aside: I hope it doesn't turn out C-Delgado doesn't suffer from Alomalaria. You know, as in the old saying, "Alomar spits, but Mo Vaughn swallows."]

Here's some of the other lists the Mets deserve a slot on:

Biggest Semi-secretive Ticket Price Hikes
Sterling Inc. to fans: Just try to do the math! 40% bitches! Whining cause you can't imagine taking your kids to the park? Shoulda thought of that before you had a family you schmuck, say some Metsfans, when they're not trading bonds, enjoying capital gains, or racing yachts.

Oldest, Frailest Group of Players Being Depended On
Of course the Mets couldn't top the Br*ves or Hankees on this one. But I think we've all said enough about it.

Most Bloggers Sent to Spring Training

The Mets have to have this one won easily. One unluckily placed hurricane could have wiped out a good number of our most productive bloggers. Now I don't want to get too snarky since M.C. Cerrone and others actually did quite a commendable job, but jeesh. I am suffering from BLOGGER FATIGUE which is associated with INFO AGE FATIGUE, and CELL PHONE FATIGUE. At least we ain't those insufferable political bloggers may they be engulfed in the flames of their walkmans. In a future posting (not mind you, an "article") to this glorified electronic diary, I might explore the idea of what will happen when we collectively realize that yes, bloggers have ably replaced Old Economy beat reporters and columnists, but we don't get paid. They did, those crusty bastards. Kinda like bussing your own table at McDonalds, it makes you feel good, but not as good as Ronald when he rolls around in the pile of money you just saved him. I'd say more but I have to go buy my toddler a mobile phone (you should see it text message).

http://www.ilovemybaby.org/images/cell-phones_50.jpg
"Mommy, my brain feels funny!"

***
Despite all the injuries, the Mets' spring training has to be judged a success based solely upon this comparison. At least this has not happened in the Mets' camp:

http://www.newsday.com/media/photo/2008-03/36720063.jpg
Not Miguel Cairo.

John Heyman flushes the Hot Stove toilet once more to see what remnants he can loosen. Turns out Johan had an opportunity to join pAy-Rod as the second best remunerated superstar to fail bigtime in Arlington but demurred. See, he ain't just well groomed, he's smart too!

The 2008 Mets Anthem Search! To be known in future years as "the only way to get a goddamn ticket" competition. I can do it at least as good as Billy Joel at this point.

It's Metsforme World Corporate Headquarters finally received it's commemorative Citifield fan-fuck brick yesterday. And surprise... it's a real $200 brick, like you could throw through Bud Selig's picture window! Quite handsome.

BallHype: hype it up!

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12 Comments:

  • At 9:38 AM, Anonymous help-a-rascal said…

    you are an unfit blogger. your blog has been placed in the custody of carl's jr. carl's jr. fuck you, i'm eating.

     
  • At 1:36 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    hey, thanks for looking up from this month's Harper's index to throw us a bone!!

    happy times are just around the corner!

     
  • At 4:07 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Great job, as always, IMFM. I linked to the Metblog comments and saw all the apathy over being screwed Deliverance-style on ticket prices and went nuclear. Please check out my rant on there and if you so choose, you may take any sections and include them on here in the future. I am appalled at the disconnect I am seeing here from my fellow Metsfans. They seem too willing to exclude non-yuppies from future Met games. Maybe going to a baseball game isn't a "right", but it is not supposed to be some sort of luxury-only activity for the elite. Do these friends of mine on there really believe that? I don't even want to go there. I suppose that many of them haven't been around the lower middle class a lot or can't relate to them. Furthermore, I can only guess that they don't understand that baseball has always had a tradition, which is as integral to the game as the diamond and rules, of being accessible to the general public. No more it seems. I see little sense among those posters of caring or believing in self-empowerment. I think that if I saw some life there amongst them of true protest, we could at least write our congressmen about this. But it is sadly not the case. And I am even more dismayed to have to count Matt amongst those of this philosophy.

     
  • At 4:36 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    OK, I'll come down to earth now and add that I just looked at the current ticket prices and there are still some games offering 5 dollar tickets and others for 10, so things aren't quite as bad as I thought. But of course, I still hope that the new stadium won't ruin these opportunities for "the little guy".

     
  • At 11:20 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    the numbnuts who feel compelled to apologize for big business get me steamed. they can take care of themselves. it's dismaying, but it's the american ideology: the market will take care of it. shame on the wilpon's and their "family values"--who can afford to bring their family? It'll be interesting to watch entertainment prices keep rising during the recession. we can live in our suv's!

     
  • At 3:44 AM, Blogger springsandra said…

    I'm going to Opening Day in Florida with my grandfather because I couldn't get tickets to Shea for the first game for the first time in 5 years. I just decided to say screw it and gave back the day off at work I'd secured because I was just ticked off and don't care as much about being there in person anymore. (It's my grandfather's first Opening Day in 70 years -- last time was when he was selling peanuts at Ebbets Field.) Of course, I did get tickets for a Saturday game in Philly and 3 other random Saturday games during the summer. I can't imagine life without baseball, but I'd rather be able to afford lunch. I'm just glad I still don't have to fork over "extra" money to watch the games on tv. It'll happen soon enough, I'm sure.

    Welcome back, IMFM. You're one of my favorite parts about it being baseball season again!

     
  • At 10:18 AM, Anonymous Jon said…

    Way to bring it! Though you're setting the sights a little low with Billy Joel as a benchmark.

     
  • At 10:45 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    Jon you should hear me hit the high notes--I AAaaAaaAAAM an innocent MaaAAnn!

    hi springy--sounds like you and grandpa have fashioned a classic baseball experience despite the market. I hear Florida is very nice this time of year.

     
  • At 2:15 PM, Anonymous cvertana said…

    Yeah, Springy. How's it going? Just a couple of more days and then "Your Season Has Come" (Spring):)

     
  • At 4:35 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    well Cver, I visited your lonely fist shaking exercise over at mmmblog. here's what I said:

    "5 bucks for the pittsburgh pirates of penzance, no doubt. and hopefully you won’t want to park (we have to drive here in LA) or consume any beverages on a hot summer day. what’s next, pay bathrooms?

    there used to be a sport played on ice, they called it hockey, i think. if you think that can’t happen tobaseball, tell that to the next teary eyed Canadian you meet.

    So Cver, i see your outrage, and raise you some rage.

    there’s market forces, then there’s gauging. lots of our fellow fans welcome our corporate overlords, which is a good thing, cause they’ll be sitting right next to them (should they be able to afford it)."

    ps.
    The market price for water is not (yet) $9.

     
  • At 4:19 AM, Blogger springsandra said…

    Hee hee, you crack me up, cver. :) Took me two reads to get that... I love spring!!

    IMFM: I can't wait to be out of this miserable place I call home (work's been really ridiculously tough lately) and get down to Florida. I'll come back with a full report. :) If you want a call from the game, let me know (of course, you'd have to let me know your number too...). I know concert calls are big... are game calls?

     
  • At 11:54 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    no game call necessary springy--don't know if I'd even be home--but do report back on your experience. have fun!

     

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.