Happy Birthday, Derek Bell! Big Announcement to Follow...
Today we honor the most hilarious Met ever. If you don't know whether to love him for his self-assured suckiness, the milestones he set for athlete entitlement, his house boat, crack smoking, or the way his tongue uttered the single most ridiculous thing an ex-Met ever said*, I say, why decide?
So I send this one out to cell block D.
Derek, we haven't forgotten you.
I'd squeeze in one last Estrada joke before the team loses him for nothing tomorrow, but I'm too demoralized. I don't know why Estrada can't be a fine member of the Mets mediocre Backstop Bunch.
Jesus Flores!! Apparently the buzz is that Omar refused the Twins offer of Johan for a bunch of minor leaguers. While you decide whether to laugh or cry, consider this:
Omar Minaya had a farm
eyii eyii oohh
and on this farm he had some chips
eyii eyii oohh
with a #2 here and a number #3 there
here a Lima there a Vargas, Aaron Sele, Aaron Sele, Aaron Sele!!! AAAaaaaAAArrgh!
Do we have them right where we want them, or are we royally fucked?
I have an announcement to make. During the 2006 season, this blog was on steroids. With the Mitchell Report imminent, I just want to come clean with you, the fans.
Even though I was probably headed to the hall of fame, I made the mistake of taking performance enhancing drugs. I knew that Misery Loves Company and Archie Bunker's Army were doing them; I saw them injecting each other in the ass. But when I heard Cerrone's blog was enhancing its performance, well I was desperate to keep up. I hope my experience will help others admit that they have a problem and seek help.
Yes I made a mistake, but I didn’t know it wasn’t flax seed oil. The doctor prescribed them. I was rehabilitating from an injury. Milton Bradley threatened me. I was in Virginia.
I apologize to whoever I am supposed to apologize to.
Thank you for your attention.
*In spring training 2002, while with the Pirates, Bell, who had hit .173 the previous season, did not feel that he needed to prove he was worthy of a starting job.
On March 18, Bell told reporters:
"Nobody told me I was in competition. If there is competition, somebody better let me know. If there is competition, they better eliminate me out of the race and go ahead and do what they're going to do with me. I ain't never hit in spring training and I never will. If it ain't settled with me out there, then they can trade me. I ain't going out there to hurt myself in spring training battling for a job. If it is [a competition], then I'm going into 'Operation Shutdown.' Tell them exactly what I said. I haven't competed for a job since 1991."
Bell jumped the team on March 29, was released on March 31, and never played in the Majors again. The Pirates ended up paying him $4.5 million not to play for them.
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette sports columnist Mark Madden summarized the incident with "Derek Bell becomes the ultimate Pirate: Lives on a boat and steals money."