It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Mets Put Pirates on their Fannies

No thanks to Jose Reyes, but the Mets pulled one out last night. Just in time too, because the Philmes and Br*ves (thanks to the sinister stylings of Larry "Hooter" Jones and the disgusting Willie Harris) also won their sets. The subjects of worldwide derision, My Two Carloses, made solid contributions, as did back back back up catcher Mike DiFelice, last scene on the post office wall somewhere. El Duque was just plain awful at the start of the game, but he didn't come over on a raft or something like that and play on a team with the insufferable Derek Jeter without a powerful ability to endure, and ended up pitching the 6 innings Mets braintrust expects out of their starters. With two runs in the 8th, the Mets overcame the Snell of defeat and kept pace with their NL East pals.

I swear to Jebus that Orlando Hernandez threw an eephus pitch on a 3-2 count at one point.

The whole damn league is in a playoff race right now, with the Red Stockings holding (but for how long?) the largest lead (4 games) over their competitors. To take advantage of this happy happenstance, I say Bud Selig makes an announcement, that, as penance for the many sins of his administration (ignoring steroids, fucking up the All-Star game, designated hitter, the Cable TV fiasco, fat umpires, bat corking, invasion of Iraq, Rockies Field, etc.), he hereby declares 2007 a "No- Wild Card" Zone. That's right, only division winners go to the show this year, just like when I was growing up. And no DH.

Old Man Moises Alou is like fine silverware that you leave in the drawer and only use for special occasions. He gets tarnished, but its nothing that a little urine can't fix. Willie has to be kidding if he thinks that Alou's presence hasn't butressed his lineup of slap happy sallies. Hell I thought I saw Delgado get a hit the other day. I hate to follow the crowd, but it seems at this point that it is no mere bluster to say that Alou excels when he is healthy. Time to fit him for a Cliff Floyd Bubble. Considering that Omar knew he was rolling the dice with Alou's health when he signed him, the calculated addition of players that will most likely be disabled for a significant portion of their contracts/careers is one of the most interesting aspects of modern baseball. What a phenomenon of modern sports we have here: the major league temp worker. Pedro Martinez and Omar aside, I "credit" the Yankers organization for spearheading this innovation; the Yankmes are an organization which routinely signs injured players in hopes of payoffs years down the road, or signs mercencaries who refuse to play entire seasons so they can get the steroids and hormones out of their systems.

Now Pedro, who's rehabilitation starts are getting almost as much ink as the parent club's games lately, is like your favorite uncle who usually brings you a present when he visits. But since he lives in his car in the Bay Area, you're never sure if he's gonna come for Thanksgiving. Is Uncle Petey coming soon, Ma? Mets fans can't help but dream of the senario if an effective Pedro is added to their playoff roster. If IDEAL-PEDRO returns, throwing in the mid 80s, that will give the Mets three veteran pitchers tossing softies; imagine how a fireballer 7th inning guy would look after those guilesome guys?


******

I'm a Lastings lover, but man, he plays the corner outfield spots like he's on a unicycle and a bear is chasing him. He's on the unicycle, not the bear. Nevermind.

In all the coverage of Phil Rizzuto's passing, not one mention has been made of how this affects the "Money Store." Will they be having a sale in his honor? If so, I will be there.

That's just awful, man. Former Met Jose Offerman is using a bat far more effectively than he did during his stay with our Orange and Blue.

*****
Celebrating a Dubious Anniversary

Well I just noticed that my blog is passing its two year mark. And I had big plans to celebrate this occasion at one point, but ahh we'll have to see what happens. Looking back at my first month of posting, you can see a cornucopia of lameness, along with some hints of the bold agenda setting I am known for, with my attention to enduring issues of Mets nation:

A celebrity advice column covering everything from poker to physics, the sex crimes of Mike DiFelice, famous Metsfans, featuring a pic of Julia Stiles after she finished serial killing a family of four, a penetrating look at the private life of Kaz Matsui, and an ode to Rickey, before he was cool (again).

Two cheers for me.

****
Awfulman Award for Citizenship

In case you're too lazy to click the links above, here's a taste of the current Mets catcher's rap sheet:

DiFelice was arrested about 1:25 a.m. when he punched a 24-year-old male valet parking attendant after he had been thrown out of the Area 51 nightclub, police said.During the arrest, police said they learned that DiFelice had been thrown out of the club for allegedly assaulting two female patrons. Police refused to identify any of the victims.A 28-year-old woman told police that DiFelice grabbed her buttocks after he began rubbing her arm and she told him to stop. A 35-year-old woman who had intervened told police DiFelice burned her buttocks with a cigarette lighter. DiFelice then punched the younger woman in the face when she tried to help the other woman, police said.DiFelice broke away from club security personnel and again attacked the younger woman before he was removed from the club, police said.

Wow, just wow.

*****

SNY comes in for criticism for staging viewing party at a glorified Hooters

I love the SNY broadcast team. Of all the decisons made by the Mets powers that be in recent years, I have to say putting together Keith, Ron, and Gary with occasional Ralph-ian interlude ranks among the best choices of all. But by thoughtlessly celebrating a Hooters mentality, SNY is falling short of even the best we can often hope for in this corporate sanitized world, which is corporations keeping their noses clean by trying not to offend their customers. Without making too much of it, I think SNY dropped the ball here a bit. I confess I would have gone to this party if I lived nearby, mainly because of the increasing man-crush I have on Ron Darling, and in all honesty, as a guy, I just don't have to worry about this kind of thing in my day to day life if I don't want to. If the juxtaposition of the respectful, cerebral Hawaiian Ron Darling and the expoitative slightly tasteless Hawaiian Tropic Zone bikini beach party sticks out to you, you're not alone.

There are a lot of women fans and an increasing number of female authored blogs about the Mets, some of which seem to attract viewers with pictures of themselves, some which attract attention with the acuity of their insights into the experience of being a baseball fan, female or otherwise. I personally am more interested if David Wright's ass cheeks are not the main touchstone of the blog's contribution, but no one appointed me tastemaker. As an industry, baseball often celebrates social progress in their own rather hollow manner, in other realms such as the breaking of the color barrior. But when it comes to gender and sexuality, baseball has a long way to go in terms of having its culture come to terms with progressive thought or social justice, as Keith Hernandez' mouth will prove given the chance.

Sexism, like racism and other social problems, is tough to bring up in a sports context. But it's always there, just below the surface. Just look at the "Los Mets" controversy. Behavior construed as racist often takes over blogs for days on end. But sexism? Not so much. Why not?To simplify greatly, it's a male dominated culture, one that many of us go to escape the problems of the real world, so anyone raising issues has to be prepared to come in conflict with an outpooring of heated opinions, retrograde positions, raw emotions, and simple "controversy fatigue." On the issue of the Hawaiian Tropic Zone SNY viewing party, Metsgrrl fights the good fight over on her blog, and the commentaries are worth stopping over and checking out. Here's a taste, from a commenter named Ray:

Would SNY risk offending its Latino following by having Mr. Met have an afternoon siesta with the Frito Bandito? Bring back Piazza for a Manly-Met-Man I’m Not Gay Night at some demonstrably straight bar?

I would personally love to see a "Mike Piazza I'm not Gay" night. But I'm an irony whore hooked on nostalgia.

I'm trying to avoid a holier than thou stance here, and it isn't easy when I'm just sooo great. But I ain't saying I'm above the fray here. If there is a culture of heterosexual male privilage, I certainly benefit from it. Do I lazily make what could be construed as veiled gay jokes in my post titles occassionally hoping for a cheap laugh? Um, yep. Have I published pictures of Julia Stiles in a tank top? Yes, but I was young then. But my point is to give these complaints a hearing, and consider if we honor the sport of baseball when we demean a section of audience, those who love it with the same passion as anyone else and deserve respect. If you're not moved to at least think it over after visiting Metsgrrl, well just remember, Larry Jones patronizes Hooters.

Let's leave the Mets association with Hawaii to the discussion of our favorite Hawaiian sons, Darling, El Sid, and Benny Agbayani...

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4 Comments:

  • At 7:52 PM, Anonymous Dan said…

    I had a copy of that Julia Stiles in a mets tank top as a screen saver for awhile. Mainly bc I was just amazed there was a famous actress in a mets tank top. Its notlike she really fills it or anything.

     
  • At 9:19 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    Dan you once again have distilled my argument down to it's essence: Ron Darling fills out a tank top better than Julia Stiles.

     
  • At 9:24 AM, Anonymous metsgrrl said…

    You realize that this entire exchange shoots down the sentiment in the post.

    I read stuff like that and it reminds me that, yeah, for most men, the only value women have is if they meet their personal standards for attractiveness. If that was supposed to be funny, it wasn't.


    I'm just going to stop being angry because no one really gives a flying fuck. Or rather, it's not worth my energy. But since I was here I was at least going to say something.

     
  • At 9:40 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    I see your gripe MG, but there are different ways to get a point across, some will seem too flippant, while some too angry.

    Maybe the best thing to do is to chip away at the practices that can easily be changed, like choosing a less foolish place to have a viewing party. But to contextualize it, the Mets are a team that employs an entire backup catching staff of alleged molesters--a fact that i am just about alone in bringing up tirelessly (or tiresomely)-- so there are plenty of angles on this.

    the larger problem seems a bit more intractable than one blog, particularly an irresponsible novelty sports blog, can remedy, which is why i direct eyes to yours if they want a more serious take on the matter.

     

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.