Maine Gains, and Cards Pray for Rain

"Maine deals the Pain, Redbirds need a Cane."

"Insane in the Maine-brain"

"Cards need Novacaine, Maine in the Fastlane"

"Mets Reign, Maine rules Spain"

Uh, well...you get the idea.

If Maine keeps pitching like this, it's gonna be a long fun season for headline writers across the country.

Last night's happenings were so pleasurable I have a baseball hangover. Just as the Mets were finally solving Looper and starting to kick his pooper, sweeping the midwest's currently most undeserving baseball franchise, word came down that evil Bud Selig and his minions had caved in to the forces of reason, and out-of-towners could have their In demand Extra Innings back.

Sure the day was slightly marred by some silly debate as to whether Willie should make our boys sit and watch the Cards celebrate (JoseJose). But, as a poster said over at Mike's Mets, "The only thing the Mets did owe the Cardinals was a good beating. So far, they've done their part to honor that commitment."

But Maine looked good. Real good. And the offense was, well, what we have come to expect. In these first three games at least, the Mets give the impression that they can be contained, but they cannot be stopped.

Now into the Mets own private proving-ground/hell. Let's think of things that rhyme with "Br*ve." (No redneck does not rhyme.)

On to today's top story...

Sandomir has a nice write up at the Times (I didn't fully believe it until I read it from him), but I want to take a moment to honor Senator Kerry by trying to prove that he is actually cool. Just check out these excerpts from his Sporting News interview, where he is cool as a cucumber, direct, and even talks some smack.

SN: We hear baseball's new deal with DirecTV (which would make out-of-market games available only to fans with the service) rubs you the wrong way. Why is that?

Kerry: This whole deal smells bad. MLB should look for ways to make baseball more accessible to fans, not less. I hope that MLB, DirecTV and others can get this done. Any deal worth $700 million that puts fewer games on TV is going to raise a big red flag.

SN: What are you planning to do about it?

Kerry: Our hearing last week before the Senate Commerce Committee was a great start. I've also asked the Federal Communications Commission to look into the proposed deal. Stay tuned.

SN: Is baseball's DirecTV deal any worse than the NFL's?

Kerry: The difference between MLB and the NFL is that the NFL Sunday Ticket was a brand-new idea developed between the league and DirecTV. The Extra Innings plan has been available to all fans on satellite or cable for many years and now might be taken away. ...
The trash-talker
SN: You're 6-4 -- can you dunk on pretty much anybody in Washington?
Kerry: Yes -- and someday I will show you my victory celebration.

The realist
SN: Seriously, how bad would you and John Edwards beat the president and Dick Cheney in two-on-two?
Kerry: Oh, man. We would have a field day.

The MLB of course will say that Kerry's threats did not impact them, but nobody believes that, especially with the hamfisted way they handled the whole affair. They didn't jump, they was pushed. The simple fact is, Kerry stepped up to the plate, and now we have our baseball.